It was 4:45 am in the morning when Nicole heard a crash downstairs,
it wouldn’t have been her friend, Michaela, because she was still sleeping.
it wouldn’t have been her friend, Michaela, because she was still sleeping.
They had a very exciting sleepover, filled with energy last night...
Nicole woke up in shock wondering what was making such a loud noise so
early in the morning.
Nicole woke up in shock wondering what was making such a loud noise so
early in the morning.
Nicole went downstairs, she was all tense and afraid because of what was
happening in this situation, her first instinct should have been to wake her parents but...
instead, she woke up her bestfriend Michaela and...
told her what she was hearing downstairs.
happening in this situation, her first instinct should have been to wake her parents but...
instead, she woke up her bestfriend Michaela and...
told her what she was hearing downstairs.
Michaela thought it’s probably just a bird, Nicole didn't think so.
Nicole ended up dragging Michaela downstairs when they were at the bottom of the stairs
they listened really carefully to see where the noise was coming from...
it was coming from the back glass door.
they listened really carefully to see where the noise was coming from...
it was coming from the back glass door.
They slowly approach the door regretting the decision but do it anyway.
When they finally got to the dining room (where the back door is) they were horrified
by what they have just seen...it was a bloody handprint on the back door glass window,
Nicole and Michaela tried to scream but nothing came out.
by what they have just seen...it was a bloody handprint on the back door glass window,
Nicole and Michaela tried to scream but nothing came out.
As they get closer to the glass the more horrified they get they were witnessing a living,
breathing a real-life person being eaten alive by something that wasn't normal.
breathing a real-life person being eaten alive by something that wasn't normal.
Nicole backed away from the window horrified saying “I’m gonna be sick.”
Michaela comforted her, but she as well was scared.
Michaela comforted her, but she as well was scared.
Eventually, the THING that was eating the person stopped...and looked up…
Oooooo ... this sounds really good! You have left your readers in suspense, so we wonder what the THING is, what it will do next, and what the girls will do about it.
ReplyDeleteYou might want to explain why Michaela is at Nicole's house (is it a birthday sleepover perhaps?). Also, it seems a bit unlikely that Nicole would literally drag her best friend down the stairs by her hair. Maybe she could just drag her.
I'm looking forward to the next installment!
- Mr Mitchell
Thank you for the advice Mr Mitchell I have updated it and I'm going to repost.
DeleteI am impressed by the language in your story Toni, its very descriptive. I look forward to reading the finished story.
ReplyDeleteMrs McGirr